Former England skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been identified with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full ramifications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the World Cup champion 2003 side and lifted several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after discovering he has the illness.
"There's something about looking the future in the face and hesitating to completely absorb that at the present time," he stated.
"It's not that I am unaware of where it's heading. We comprehend that. But there is certainly a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking with his wife Annie, states instead he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his present welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition deteriorates.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and once I have the details, it's easier," he continued.
Initial Signs
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some weakness in his upper arm while training in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the condition, a series of scans revealed nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You receive this condition identification of MND and we're rightly very emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like everything is fine," he remarked.
"I don't experience ill. I don't feel poorly
"My indications are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle wasting in the hand area and the shoulder region.
"I'm still competent to doing all activities. And with luck that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Disease Development
MND can progress swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the illness takes the lives of a 33% of people within a 365 days and over half within 24 months of diagnosis, as swallowing and respiration become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard deterioration.
"It's not me that I am upset for," stated an moved Moody.
"There's sadness around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Personal Effect
Speaking from the residence with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with sentiment when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two excellent boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We positioned ourselves on the sofa in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and began cleaning the tears off our faces, which was rather amusing."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the now.
"There is no cure and that is why you have to be very intensely directed on just accepting and appreciating each moment now," he stated.
"As Annie said, we've been truly blessed that the primary determination I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as possible. We don't get those times back."
Player Connection
Top-level athletes are disproportionately affected by MND, with investigations indicating the rate of the disease is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is believed that by reducing the air obtainable and causing harm to neural pathways, regular, strenuous training can initiate the illness in those already vulnerable.
Rugby Career
Moody, who won 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in honour of his brave, persistent approach to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a time with Leicester and once sparked a practice scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a practice gear and started participating in physical contacts.
After appearing as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the line-out in the decisive phase of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the game-deciding drop-goal.
Backing Network
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who captained England to that championship, and a couple of other former players about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the minute, just having that sort of love and acceptance that people are present is what's important," he said.
"Rugby is such a excellent community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even should it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to label your enthusiasm your career, it's one of the most important honors.
"Having accomplished it for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will want to assist in any way they can and I look forward to having those discussions."
